If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face

Ichiro Suzuki may be the most genius man since Chuck Norris. Seriously, the man’s a damn Delphic Oracle. How many times has your gut begun to fill with a rage you didn’t have the words for? I mean, just yesterday, when some ass in a truck with “Power Wagon” stamped on the side cut me off, I was filled with a fury that knew no words, just the pounding of my fists on the steering wheel. Fortunately, friends, Ichiro has the words for all of us: “I hope he arouses the fire that’s dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul. I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger.”

That’s actually much more useful than a Magic 8 ball. Ichiro, do I really have to go to the gym today? Response: “It’s the same if you were to meet a beautiful girl and go bowling. If she’s an ugly bowler, you are going to be disappointed.”

* * * *

Speaking of genius dudes, I’m really liking the guy who’s teaching my poetry workshop this summer (the actual workshop I enrolled in and paid for, not the one that I went to for an hour and a half before realizing it was the wrong day). Example: yesterday he was talking about attention and how writers are influenced by other writers’ attention and traced a line from Milton to Blake to Whitman to Ginsberg, and just as I was thinking, true, true, but does it really have to be all about the menfolk?, he said, “Sorry all those examples were dudes.” (And he does really, and obviously consciously, include women poets just as often in his examples as men.) Also he made us all vegetarian chili one class.

* * * *

Things I did yesterday include: make coconut ice cream, make vanilla Butterfinger ice cream, make the base for strawberry ice cream, roast tomatoes for Israeli couscous, buy $7 pants, rent Mario Party 8, and eat cookies at my workshop. Things I’ve done today include: bake two loaves of bread, one with roasted garlic cloves inspired by a trip with petit to the Kona Brewing Company, cook black beans for black bean and corn salad, make peppermint ice cream with mint oreos, and burn my finger on a Pyrex casserole dish.

Can you tell I’m not working now? Summer school ended on Tuesday, and I couldn’t be happier. That is, until next Wednesday, when I have to drag myself back to work like a jerk.

But now we’re getting ready for a party (salads! ice cream! watermelon daiquiris! and a spider monkey, promised by my friend Amanda) and contemplating a trip to the gym. What are you up to?

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